Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Suck it up Soldier!

Don't make a crying face!

Writing in public can be a tough thing to do, particular when a scene is touching to me.  You see, at my core, I’m actually a softy.  Seriously, it can be fairly bad depending on the film, feeling or situation… I’ll freakin' cry.  I mean, not a lot… but, yeah I’ll cry... you know, just a little bit (I say trying to salvage my dignity at this admission). 
Yes, there it is, I said it!  I’m a man and I’ve cried in public!  I’ve had to, on multiple occasions while writing this story, stifle the onslaught of flooding emotions (emotions that refuse to be satisfied unless it bears witness to a few tears running down my cheeks) on the subway or in a cafĂ© or even in a restaurant during lunch in Midtown NYC.  Do you know how many people would see me crying in the span of 15mins in such a very public location?  Too many as a matter of fact.
Now, if I saw something crying like a baby in public I tend to think three things:
1 – They’re lost someone close to them
2 – They’re have a tough time in their relationship (mostly reserved for women)
3 – They’re in serious pain (physically)
That’s it.  Those reasons are the only things I imagine as acceptable for allowing tears to slip from a person’s eyes and given over for public consumption.  Writing a book?  No.  Sorry, that’s not an acceptable reason to shed a tear in public… private maybe, but definitely not in public.
Pull it together man!  It’s a story!  No, I don’t care if it’s some intense emotional experience you’re re-living in that moment.  Suck it up and put on your man face!  Of course, I know it’s silly to think about masculinity as a lack of emotional sensitivity, but it’s certainly a lot easier to say it than become an example of it in the middle of the busy afternoon lunch-time rush of humanity.  All of whom I might add, are seeing with a judgmental eye just as I would have.
Maybe next time I’ll bang my toe with a hammer to give the others nearby the illusion that my tears are falling for reasons other than my sensitive heart.
Yeah, that's a reasonable alternative...